Our Mama's Surrogacy Journey
Our Mama's Surrogacy Journey tells the story of surrogacy through the eyes of children. Narrated by my kiddos, Eli and Ella, this illustrated 32-page book introduces the surrogacy journey. It discusses the process from finding a family to assist to taking medications all the way to delivery. Age-appropriate and anatomically-correct terms are used throughout the story. The family of the surrogate is not identified so it can be tailored to the reader's own experiences. Our Mama's Surrogacy Journey is written for children of surrogates, but is a great resource for all children as it embraces the diversity of families. I am confident that Our Mama's Surrogacy Journey will help other surrogates explain to her kiddos the process that she - and they - will go through. It is a useful tool that surrogacy agencies and fertility clinics can refer to surrogates.
A surrogacy journey affects the entire family, and I loved involving my family in all the steps. My husband took the photographs and provided the encouragement needed to reach publication. Our kiddos created the artwork within the story and were the models as it was their story to tell.
A surrogacy journey affects the entire family, and I loved involving my family in all the steps. My husband took the photographs and provided the encouragement needed to reach publication. Our kiddos created the artwork within the story and were the models as it was their story to tell.
My Inspiration
Ella had just turned 4, and Eli was 18 months old when I sent in my application to become a surrogate. They were definitely young, but the surrogacy journey would affect their lives too. I wanted them to be a part of the journey. In fact, we even asked them before I sent in my application if they were ok with me, but I doubt they knew what exactly they were agreeing to.
When an experience is new, we often look towards others we know to help fill in the knowledge gaps. I knew of only one other surrogate, but I didn't know her well. Without personal references, we then read for understanding.
We bought books featuring surrogates an introduction for our kiddos. Only two books were suggested on my agency's group for surrogates; searching the internet didn't result in any more finds either. While the market is {very slowly} expanding to include more books about surrogacy, I was shocked that there were so few to chose from. Both books we purchased are great books, but I wanted something that featured humans who weren't necessarily hetero couples. The last part was especially true during my second journey when I matched with a gay couple. When I informally surveyed other surrogates in what they hoped to have in a children's book, others also said that they didn't want a certain type of family represented.
I began brainstorming what I wanted in a book and how I wanted it to look. I referenced emails from my journeys for chronological accuracy. I drafted, revised, and edited - and did it all again. This took me significantly longer than my kiddos thought was necessary; I'm a bit of a perfectionist as my husband likes to point out.
The hardest part wasn't putting pen to paper. I'm not an artist by any means. Creative, yes. But artistic, no. After nearly giving up on the idea because I didn't have illustrations, I finally decided on photographs. Thank goodness hubby has photography skills, and we had two models willing to work for pizza and a movie night. I love that my kiddos inspired me to publish Our Mama's Surrogacy Journey and that they are featured in it.
When an experience is new, we often look towards others we know to help fill in the knowledge gaps. I knew of only one other surrogate, but I didn't know her well. Without personal references, we then read for understanding.
We bought books featuring surrogates an introduction for our kiddos. Only two books were suggested on my agency's group for surrogates; searching the internet didn't result in any more finds either. While the market is {very slowly} expanding to include more books about surrogacy, I was shocked that there were so few to chose from. Both books we purchased are great books, but I wanted something that featured humans who weren't necessarily hetero couples. The last part was especially true during my second journey when I matched with a gay couple. When I informally surveyed other surrogates in what they hoped to have in a children's book, others also said that they didn't want a certain type of family represented.
I began brainstorming what I wanted in a book and how I wanted it to look. I referenced emails from my journeys for chronological accuracy. I drafted, revised, and edited - and did it all again. This took me significantly longer than my kiddos thought was necessary; I'm a bit of a perfectionist as my husband likes to point out.
The hardest part wasn't putting pen to paper. I'm not an artist by any means. Creative, yes. But artistic, no. After nearly giving up on the idea because I didn't have illustrations, I finally decided on photographs. Thank goodness hubby has photography skills, and we had two models willing to work for pizza and a movie night. I love that my kiddos inspired me to publish Our Mama's Surrogacy Journey and that they are featured in it.
Featured Blogger
In the fall of 2019, the agency I worked with asked me to write a piece about educating kiddos about the surrogacy journey. It was an honor to share how my husband and I kept our kiddos involved throughout our journey.